Apple has just unveiled iOS 18, and it’s packed with so many new features that it’s like they’re trying to make up for all the times Siri embarrassed you in public. Let’s dive into these features and see if they can make your iPhone smarter than you. Spoiler alert: Android users might find this amusing.
iOS 18: Siri Gets a Brain Transplant
First up, Siri from the latest iOS 18. She’s now supposed to be more proactive and context-aware. Apple claims she can set timers, create reminders, and even give you traffic updates based on your routine. So if you’re always late because you stop for coffee every morning, Siri’s going to remind you just how predictable and unproductive you are. Thanks, Siri, for keeping track of my inability to manage time.
And it doesn’t stop there. Siri can now understand follow-up questions and maintain context. So when you ask her about the weather and then follow up with, “Will it rain tomorrow?” she won’t respond with, “Sorry, I didn’t get that.” Finally, Siri can hold a conversation better than your average teenager. Meanwhile, Google Assistant is over there sipping tea, saying, “Welcome to 2017.”
Personal Voice: Your Synthetic Doppelgänger
Personal Voice in the new iOS 18, is a feature that lets you create a synthetic version of your voice by recording 15 minutes of audio. Imagine this: you can now prank call your friends using your own voice, but without actually having to talk. Finally, an excuse to be lazy while being annoying! It’s perfect for those days when you just can’t be bothered to use your own vocal cords.
But let’s give credit where it’s due. This is great for accessibility. If you’re losing your voice or have a condition that affects your speech, you can still communicate using your own voice. It’s like leaving a piece of yourself behind, but without the creepy factor. Unless, of course, you use it to scare your friends by calling them in the middle of the night with your synthetic voice. Then it’s just hilarious. Of course, Android users have been cloning their voices for years now. But hey, better late than never, right?
Journal App: Your Digital Shrink
iOS 18 introduces the Journal app, a new way to document your life. It uses machine learning to suggest moments you might want to remember, like the time you tripped in front of your crush or when you sang terribly at karaoke night. It’s like having a nosy friend who remembers everything so you don’t have to. Just what we needed, another app to remind us of our most embarrassing moments.
The Journal app is designed to help you reflect on your day and practice mindfulness. It will even suggest photos, locations, and music to add to your entries, making it a multimedia experience. Because who needs a therapist when you have an app that can remind you of all the times you failed spectacularly? Android users are just sitting there with their Google Keep notes, chuckling at how Apple’s catching up.
StandBy Mode: Your Phone’s New Obsession
StandBy mode in the iOS 18 transforms your iPhone into a smart display when charging. It shows the time, your favorite photos, or the latest notifications. Because what you really need is your phone giving you the side-eye while it charges. It’s like having a little digital butler that watches you sleep, just in case you forget you have a life outside of your phone.
This feature turns your iPhone into a mini smart home hub. You can control your smart lights, check the weather, or even see who’s at the door, all while your phone is charging. Android users with Google Assistant-enabled smart displays are probably rolling their eyes, but hey, let Apple fans have their moment.
Contact Posters: Because Regular Caller ID is for Peasants
You can now personalize how you appear on other people’s iPhones with Contact Posters. So instead of a boring caller ID, they get a full-screen photo of you doing your best duck face. Apple says it’s a way to express yourself. I say it’s a way to make your telemarketer calls look like modern art.
But seriously, this feature allows you to create a custom contact poster with a photo and text that shows up when you call someone. It’s like a digital business card, but way cooler. You can add your favorite photo, customize the font, and even add emojis. Now, when you call your friends, they’ll see a beautiful picture of you instead of just your name. Android users have had this level of customization for years, but they can still appreciate the effort.
Messages App: Ghosting Made Easier
In iOS 18, the Messages app gets new features like Check In, which lets your friends and family know you’ve arrived safely. Perfect for the overprotective mom in all of us. Plus, there’s a swipe-to-reply feature. Finally, a way to show you’re too busy to type out a full response. Just swipe and get back to scrolling through memes.
And let’s talk about the new sticker feature. In iOS 18, you can now create your own stickers from your photos. Imagine the possibilities! You can turn your best (or worst) selfies into stickers and spam your friends with them. It’s like Snapchat filters, but permanent. Your friends will never get tired of seeing your face in sticker form. Or they’ll block you. Either way, it’s a win.
There’s also the new ability to edit sent messages. So now, when you send that embarrassing typo, you can fix it before anyone sees it. Or, if you’re feeling mischievous, you can change the message to make it look like the other person is saying something ridiculous. “I can’t wait for our date tonight!” can quickly become “I love eating raw onions!” The possibilities are endless. Android users with WhatsApp and other messaging apps have been enjoying these features forever, but sure, Apple, act like you invented the wheel.
NameDrop: Contact Sharing for the Awkward
With the iOS 18 NameDrop feature, you can share your contact info by simply bringing your iPhone close to another. It’s like AirDrop, but for people. So if you ever wanted to share your number with a stranger at the bar without saying a word, Apple’s got you covered. Just hope you don’t accidentally NameDrop your number to a creep.
This feature is perfect for networking events. Instead of fumbling around with business cards, you can just tap your phones together and voila! Instant contact sharing. It’s like a digital handshake, but without the germs. Android users, with NFC and QR codes for contact sharing, are nodding approvingly while thinking, “Welcome to the party, Apple.”
Interactive Widgets: More Useless Distractions
Interactive widgets are now a thing. In iOS 18, you can control your smart home, check your to-do list, or play music without even opening an app. Apple says it’s convenient; I say it’s just another way to procrastinate without unlocking your phone.
These widgets let you do more directly from your home screen. Want to change the song? Tap the widget. Need to turn off the lights? Tap the widget. It’s like Apple is trying to make sure you never actually have to interact with your phone again. Just tap, tap, tap, and everything’s done. Who needs apps when you’ve got widgets? Android has had interactive widgets since the time when dinosaurs roamed the earth, but it’s cute that Apple’s finally catching up.
FaceTime Upgrades: Because Your Face Needs More Filters
FaceTime now lets you leave video messages. So, if your friend misses your call, they can get a video of you looking annoyed. Plus, the new reactions feature adds fireworks or rain to your video calls. Perfect for when you want to distract from the fact that you’re not wearing pants during your work meeting.
These reactions add a bit of fun to your calls. Imagine talking to your friend and suddenly, hearts appear around your face. Or, if you’re in a serious meeting, you can add rain to show just how boring it is. It’s like adding a little drama to your conversations. And who doesn’t love drama? Meanwhile, Google Duo users have been enjoying these features without the fanfare, but hey, FaceTime is “magical,” right?
Health App: Because We All Need More Guilt
The Health app now tracks your mental health, reminding you to be mindful and reflect on your day. Great, another app to tell me I’m stressed and not sleeping enough. It’s like having a judgmental parent in your pocket.
This app can help you keep track of your moods, remind you to take breaks, and even suggest relaxation exercises. Because nothing says relaxation like your phone buzzing to tell you to chill out. It’s perfect for those of us who need constant reminders that we’re failing at self-care.
And of course, it integrates with all your other health data. So now, you can see just how unhealthy you are in one convenient place. Apple is really looking out for us by making sure we never forget how much we suck at taking care of ourselves. Android users with Samsung Health are probably laughing, knowing they’ve been guilt-tripped by their phones for years.
Compatible Devices and Availability
iOS 18 will be available for iPhones starting from the iPhone 8 and newer. So, if you’re still rocking an iPhone 7 or, heaven forbid, an iPhone 6, it’s time to upgrade. But don’t worry, you can always keep those around as paperweights.
The update is set to roll out this fall, but if you’re an Apple fanatic who can’t wait, you can join the public beta program this summer. Just be prepared for the usual bugs and glitches. Nothing says “early adopter” like a phone that randomly restarts itself.
iOS18: The Future is Here, and It’s Slightly Annoying
iOS 18 is here to make our lives easier. Or more complicated. It’s hard to tell. But one thing’s for sure: if your life is falling apart, at least your iPhone will be there to send you a push notification about it.
So, here’s to the future. May our devices be smarter, our lives be easier, and our passwords… well, non-existent.
Feel free to share this blog post with your tech-loving friends. Or your grandparents who still think a “mouse” is a rodent. Either way, someone’s going to get a laugh out of it.
Further Reading:
- MacRumors: iOS 18 Features, Compatible Devices, Launch Date, and More
- TechNowize: New iOS 17.5 Features Show Minor Upgrades Leading Up To iOS 18
- Financial Express: Apple’s maiden generative AI iOS 18 features to work on-device; launch expected in 2024
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Osaka, Japan
From Osaka, Jun Tanaka’s journey oscillates between ancient Japanese traditions and contemporary global insights. With a background in Environmental Science from MIT, he seamlessly blends the wisdom of Japan’s heritage with sustainable practices and traditional art forms in his writings.